You’ve probably heard of the discovery of evidence that Jesus might have been married. There’s a great article from the New Yorker imagining what marriage to an unemployed miracle worker might have been like. The evidence itself is really pretty weak, but it’s been getting a lot of attention; I think because it confirms a suspicion that many people have about the Church. Seems that people like Jesus, but his church–not so much. It can’t be right that a messed up institution like this would really be the provider of the truth about Jesus. Seems more likely that the Church is covering up the real truth for some nefarious reason, and here is the evidence.
I don’t normally go for conspiracy theories, but in the case of today’s Gospel, I think I have to agree–the Church is covering up. Not about Jesus’ marital status, but something far more important. It seems to me that in its interpretation of this passage, the Church has buried the Good News, and it is time to uncover that truth.
The story seems simple enough. The Pharisees ask Jesus a legal question, because that’s what they do. Remember that for the Pharisees, and for Jesus as well, Law means far more than courts, rights and rules. The Law is the story, a blessing from God, that gives identity, telling the people of Israel who they are. As I said, the Pharisees ask a legal question, one that would be familiar to us, asking about the grounds for divorce. Note, too, that the question asks only about a man’s rights. That’s because marriage at this time is essentially a contract between a man and the parents of his intended wife, therefore she has no right to break it at all. When Jesus talks later about adultery, Mark adds some words about the wife for his Greek audience, but that would not have been part of Jesus’ description. The Pharisees ask a legal question, but Jesus answers with an identity question. Marriage in its present legal form is not the issue; marriage’s place in God’s plan is.
So what is that place? From creation, Jesus reminds them, God has had an intention for this relationship, one of unity, wholeness and support. This vision of marriage is what matters. Our story then continues with a discussion of children and their place in the Kingdom of God. At first it would seem that these two issues have nothing in common, but that phrase, “women and children first” applies here. Women and children in one phrase because women and children are the vulnerable ones. No rights, no strength, no voice–they are the ones who need protection, and, according to Jesus, are therefore exactly the people for whom the Kingdom of God is meant. What does that mean, that the vulnerable receive the Kingdom first, that God values them? Well, that’s complicated, even difficult to answer. Understanding might require changes in priorities or decisions. Sadly, the Church has too often chosen a different way.
Taking Jesus’ words about the purpose of marriage, words meant to draw the Pharisees out of their legalistic concerns, Christians have created a legalism, indicating that ironclad rules were Jesus’ intent and burying the question that informs our reading: What is the Good News?
Jesus’ Good News is that God has a plan, a plan from the beginning of creation. This plan is for wholeness and belonging, for unity and community. But things don’t always go according to that plan. But God has sent Jesus to show the way forward in that plan, showing in his life how to live, and giving to his followers the ability to walk in that way. Within this plan, marriage becomes one more way of discovering that life-giving truth that it’s not all about you, that in fact life is found when we move out of the center and give up what we want for the sake of others. Marriage is a way of living out the faith.
But here’s the problem–it appears that there is only one marriage script. If I were to ask you to share your stories of marriage (and married or not, we all have stories of marriages we have known whether our own, our parents’ or others), we would have hundreds of stories to tell. Some of those stories would be stories of the Gospel–stories of joy and companionship and meaning. If we listened we would hear some of those harder Gospel details, like repentance, reconciliation and forgiveness, stories of burdens carried bringing new life. These would be stories of marriages that lived up to all that the marriage service claims marriage should be.* These stories would end, as all stories must, with the inevitable burden and blessing of grief, reminding us of life’s value.
But then there are other stories of marriage, stories like mine, that didn’t turn out according to the Gospel script. These stories have details of betrayal and forgiveness never received, of division, and even destruction, where the sacrifices made did not lead to life. The question is–does the Gospel have space for stories like these?
For many centuries the Church has answered no, thereby burying the Good News we seek. The Church has pretended that the destruction found in these stories would be too much for the Gospel to handle. But marriage or no, the Gospel message remains the same: God has a plan. God calls us to wholeness and community, to relationship and belonging. But so often we rip apart that which should be whole, mar that which should be beautiful, and pull hopelessness and fear out of that which should bring hope. Even as we do this, God invites us back into the plan, not simply to acknowledge our guilt and destructive ways, but to turn them around. God invites us to join in putting the broken pieces back together, to re-create the beauty and find the words of hope that we might learn to speak them. In Christ we are freed from the traps and destruction of the past and invited into the new creation of God’s plan.
Finally, a few thoughts to conclude:
- It is not good for us to be alone, and so we are not. Marriage is one place where reconciliation can be lived. Although marriage has its special intention, any relationship could be the place where we can know and be known to become our true selves.
- Christian marriage and romantic fantasies are not the same. Give up on finding your soul mate. The Creator of All is not holding out the promise of the perfect match for you to meet all your needs. That’s because marriage, like all the parts of God’s Kingdom is not all about you. Any Christian relationship is about far more than romance.
- On the other extreme, leaving everyone and everything to go off and find yourself is going in the wrong direction. We know who we are in relation to one another and in relation to our God. There is no other way.
- Other thoughts? It’s all about following Christ–anyone have any ideas about that?